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Follow the Yellow Brick Road
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Follow the Yellow Brick Road I came up with another good wrinkle for my Purge/Weekend At Bernie's Movie , the bride is actually a gold-digger who poisons Bernie at the wedding and then has some comedic moments where she can't understand why he's not dying . You know what’s weird to think about ? Jesus probably couldn’t read . For some reason the Wizard of Oz is a movie that is often pornified , maybe because it’s just been around so long . Fun game , it’s surprisingly easy to convince people that the Wizard of Oz was the first movie ever made – try it at home . Also surprisingly very few of these porn parodies involve little people . Why would you choose to porn up the Wizard of Oz if you’re not going to go that route ? But then what movies are chosen to be pornified has never made a lot of sense to me . The point is this , Dorothy in the porn version of the Wizard really gets a raw deal (pun) because look at what she has to choose from . The Scarecrow ? I mean I don’t have a pussy but if I did I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want straw jammed in it . And I know what you’re saying “But 40 , a scarecrow is straw inside burlap !” Yeah , because burlap feels great . Also have you ever sat on a haybale with a covering on it ? It’s just pointy an uncomfortable as hell . I mean don’t get me wrong if you’re going to hump a straw-dick you want some burlap over there if you can get it but it’s still no picnic ya dig ? Then we have the Cowardly Lion . Two words – penile spines . Lions like all cats and many non-human mammals have spines on their junk that rake the walls of the vagina . Why ? No one knows . But that’s why cats sound like that when they’re banging . No es Bueno . So hard pass on the Cowardly Lion . So I guess the best choice is the Tin Woodsman ? I mean at least a tin dick is going to be smooth hopefully . So it’s probably just cold and uncomfortable rather that outright painful like our other options . And if the Tin Woodsman is going to be cool about it he could probably warm it up with a heating iron or something first – but obviously you need to be very careful there with temperature control . It’s like they always say – if the Tinman’s cock is too hot to hold it’s too hot to go inside you . Wise words . I suppose the best case scenario to Dorothy is to try and make to the end where she can bang the Wizard after he’s unmasked . I mean he’s an old dude but at least he’s a human being . I think old balls are better than any of the previous options . What the heck is the deal with the Wizard anyway ? Is he from Oz or is he from our world like Dorothy ? I don’t remember any native humans in Oz . Munchkins , witches , angry trees , flying monkeys , the assorted weirdos she goes down the Oregon Trail with but no humans . If he’s from out world how did he con his way into being in charge ? And what exactly is he in charge of anyway ? The Munchkins ? And where do these witches come from . Oh wait , I guess the good witch lady looked like a human not a monster . Are witches a race ? I’m going to admit at this point that I’ve never actually seen the movie . Why do women have orgasms the way they do ? It doesn’t seem to make sense . One time , and by one time I mean tons of times , a lady told me that she has the big O (not the anime series) from oral but not from intercourse . How does that make sense ? I understand orgasms as a way to trick us into procreating but if that’s the way it works women should have them from intercourse because last time I checked you can’t get someone pregnant with your tongue . Or if you can you have some real unique physiology . It’s a tricky area to collect data on but there’s some evidence that having an orgasm during sex increased a woman’s chances of becoming pregnant – so I guess if you want to have a baby go down on your lady after you bang – but that’s even MORE of a reason why women should have them from intercourse . So what the heck is evolution doing ? It must be good for something otherwise it wouldn’t be present everywhere . Although maybe it’s not . Some women say they’ve never had one – maybe they got the shaft (pun) genetically speaking and they don’t have the orgasm trait . Back in 2005 Elizabeth Lloyd published a book that stated that women probably started having orgasms as a by-product of men having them and as far as I can tell all the other science people were like “sure” and that was the end of that . But that makes NO sense to me . It’s not like orgasms are a disease you can catch . Or did women start faking orgasms because they saw men having them and over time they became real through the power of “fake it until you make it” . I hate that expression by the way . That’s not how evolution works is it ? Monkeys have tails as a byproduct of sharks having tails . WTF I say . They did do a twin study (because twins exist mostly for scientists to study) and found that identical twins SEEM to have the same ability to have rocking orgasms . Which seems to indicate that it’s genetic . But why ? WHY ? One thing we do “know” is that farther away the clit is from the hole (scientific term) the less likely it is that a woman will regularly achieve orgasm with intercourse . Which implies that there are women out there that have orgasms from intercourse , I’ve just never met one . Also some asshole scientist probably came up with that anyway “Honey , it’s not my problem you didn’t come , you’re clit is just too far away – there’s nothing anyway can do .” Do you think Meg Ryan is really good at faking orgasms ? Do you think any dude that sleeps with Meg Ryan feels suspicious about her reactions ? While we’re on the subject (not really) can someone explain to me how the sterile insect technique works ? So they take a bunch of male whatevers , mosquitos , and they sterilize them and then release them into the wild where they bang all the female mosquitos and that does what exactly ? Insects aren’t monogamous are they ? Doesn’t some other mosquito come along and get all the lady mosquitos pregnant anyway ? Plus do they lay eggs that aren’t fertilized ? Why would they ? There’s so much about insect reproductive biology that I don’t know . According to the Wikipedia ‘Females that mate with a sterile male produce no offspring’ but how ? You can’t fool mother nature right ? Or do I not understand what “sterile” means ? Are the eggs fertilized but really aren’t somehow ? If there’s any insect fertility experts reading this please explain . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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It's probably a metaphor for something or other. Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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speaking of..(but not really)..what use have you for factory reject dildos? and who in this day and age has never seen the wiz in its original form? woop woop
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You must be too young to have experienced the days when broadcast TV would play the Wizard of Oz once a year (I want to say on Easter? No, that was the Ten Commandments I think). At any rate, the Wizard is a "real world" human like Dorothy and as I recall, like her he arrived in a tornado. The denizens of Oz were so stunned by this guy descending in a balloon that they thought he was a god and put in him charge. But really he was kind of a shyster.  
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Insect fertility answerer here ....... Sterilized mosquitoes are like men with vasectomies. Shooting blanks. Forget the Oz movie, read the book it explains things better Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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10/10/2018 7:42 pm |
Good read thanks
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